Were Bama!

oh hey world,

samantha, paige, morgan, katyln and i decided to get together and road trip to Iowa. we weren’t even out of the car and we were already in trouble. trouble so soon? how you ask, well idiot me was driving, looking for a place to park my car and we came across this parking garage thinking there was a way out, boy were we wrong. it was a private garage for the apartment buildings above it, we were hoping the garage had a motion censor and that it would magically open! Nope, we needed a remote. we tried to find people that lived in the building but this apartment complex was on lock down, you needed a key to get around the place. so we waited hoping a car would pull in and save us and that one car took 30 minutes to arrive. i was soo excited i peed my pants, our day brighten up a little and to our luck we found a parking spot right in front of my friends apartment.

we wanted to get something in our tummies before drinking and our friends told us the restaurant was right down stairs and to the right, simple right well not to us because we got lost, what else is new? we searched for this place for 20 minutes just walking around iowa city like idiots. we called one of the guys to come and guide us to the restaurant and we were standing right in front of it.

while pre-gaming we decided to come up with the brilliant idea that we were going to tell people we met that night we went to Alabama and were visiting someone or something like that, we put on our southern accents and gave each other a beautiful southern bell names.  after we got a little more than tipsy we headed to the bars, i was telling everything how i went to the university of alabama, that i knew mark ingram, and just pulling random shit out of my ass. i was asked to join some v.i.p. party, why not free dranks, and so the shit show began.

by the end of the night i was a hot mess. as always i tend to leave people and go my own way, tonight was no different than any other blackout night. i managed to get a mile and a half away from my friends apartment, might i add that it was raining as well! i managed to stumble my way back on track. i was getting the munchies so i took a pit stop at jimmy johns, just my luck they ran out of bread as i had just gotten there.

Iowa City 1, Nancy 0. until we meet again muh friend

p.s. Mark Ingram if your reading this I ADORE YOU!

The Girls of Yucca

Yo Wudd Up World,

Sorry I know its been awhile since i last blogged, i’ve been a tad busy with everythang ya know. but im back on track and ready to let you all know the mistakes i’ve been making in this crazy life of mine and now that its summer shit is sure ready to go down.

at the beginning of second semester samantha and i decided to make this drink we like to call yucca, it consists of 3 lemons, 3 limes, 2 cups of sugar, a whole handle of vodka, and ice. no other liquid added but vodka! then you put all these ingredients in a jumbo pickle jar, wrap it in a towel and shake it up until the mixture looks like lemonade, let me tell you it sure does taste like lemonade and that drank was the death of me that cold january night.

we started drinking yucca quite early in the night, by the time we all got on the drunk bus i was a goner, sayonara  nancy there was no going back. while on the bus my girlfriend mandy and i were convincing people we were foreign exchange students and it worked we were pulling this shit everywhere throughout the night and scoring free dranks. you would think i would stop drinking after 4 cups of pure vodka but no i continued to chug beer and throw down shot like it was my job.

it was around 1130 when i realized i needed to get home because i was not feeling too hot, but i couldnt get on the bus because i knew i would pass out on it. thankfully i got ahold of a friend to drive me home. i dont remember the drive home nor how i got to my door. i woke up in the morning feeling like i had been hit by a bus. yucca never again never again.

My First & Hopefully Last Sleep Paralysis Experience

At 6:00am this morning I experienced my first every sleep paralysis and I hope for it to be my last. I have had many nightmares and seen some scary movies, but nothing compares to what I have just gone through.

I fell asleep a little earlier than I usually do, I’ve been lacking in the sleep department lately. Went into a I’m not sure if I dreamed right away because I have no recollection of it, at around 5:00am I awaken by the sound of my TV.( I tend to leave it on a lot) turned it off and went back to sleep.

I must have fallen into a deep sleep right away for all of this to happen in an hour. I dreamt that I was with my mom, we were driving in the car and I was in the back seat for some reason. It felt like I was at two place at once, parts of our driving were in Chicago and some train tracks in Iowa. All seems good up until I see a tall dark figure attacking a helpless man on a major street for all to see I pick up my cell phone and attempt to dial 911; I’m so shaken up by what I have just seen I’m stumbling to dial the number. I finally make it through, spoke with an emergency operator. The location of this attack was on a street call Parkway Ave. in Chicago, while I’m still on the phone with the operator were driving past all these dead bodies on train tracks and a guy with a gun, this location is now country town Iowa.

I am attempting to give the operator all this information because this is news to him too. When I get very nervous and scared I stutter really bad to the point where I cannot get any words out of my mouth. I don’t know what got into me but I just opened my eyes to find a really tall, slender, weird faced person, with orange and black painted on his face next my bed side. My first reaction is to scream at the top of my lung for 30 seconds to make it disappear. It just stood there moving its head side to side, I just went under my covers shaking and crying telling myself this wasn’t real. I looked back at my bed side and it was still there, I scrambled to find my phone and dial my mother who I haven’t spoken with in about a month. I don’t know if that had to do with anything or what, by the time she calmed me down the figure was gone. I have never been so shaken up in my entire life (I’m still shaking inside) I’m scared to close my eyes and for it to happen again.

Of course I googled this to find out what this meant, was, and if many other people had experienced this. I came across this blogger who didn’t have the same dream as me but saw the same figure that I did.

                “… and then I wake up to discover a person standing right by my feet, by the edge of my bed. I know I am awake 100%. The being looks realistically human, with exception of one feature: the face is concealed by an overlay of an animated evil-looking face. It looks like one of those heads from the Easter Island: http://i.treehugger.com/images/2007/…island-001.jpg This overlaid face looks as if it is painted, with vibrant red and orange colors.”

This is called sleep paralysis and I hope it is something that I do not have to experience EVER AGAIN! I don’t know if my lesson or moral was to speak with my mother or whatever, but it worked.

Madi, Can You Please Share the Toilet w/Me.

Howdy Howdy Howdy!

I am about to relive one of my best and most black out nights in college to this day, as usual mi lady and I were getting ready for another night at Tyler’s apartment. Madi was in town, every time this slut in is town we do it big normally just because laura and I want to get her head in the toilet; were we all soon to find out that the three of us were going to be sharing the toilet. We had bought 3 handle of Smirnoff, madi was already at tyler’s and drunk because she started crying for no apparent reason, we should have known by that what we were getting ourselves into.

I do not know what came over my mind and decided to fill up a tall glass half way full with straight vodka, I think I said I wanted to catch up and be on madi’s level (last night I ever did that). I took that glass down like as if were my job to, went down pretty smooth not going to lie. After that I decided HEY why not do it again, beats taking small shots, played circle of death, and fuck the dealer. I was feeling good; I am never “drunk” I’m just feeling real good. Time was 11pm.

At around 11pm a bunch of kappa BITCHES and HOES showed up; I don’t like them for various reasons and the number one reason I don’t like them is because they use people; they use and abuse you (not me personally, I’ve let them know where they stand with me, in the shit hole). Them showing up made me want to drink more so I wouldn’t have to listen to their annoying cattiness; I proceeded to down 2 more glasses of vodka (I swear I’m NOT an alcoholic). I was in search for my girls madi and laura, I found them in ty’s room, drunk ass me thinks it would be fun to play DRESS UP! I strip down and change into some of tyler’s clothes; put some long baggy b-ball shorts, a nice long sleeve button down shirt, a ball cap, and some high tops to complete my ensemble. I came out and everyone was lovin my look, except the kappa whore of course what else is new because the spotlight was on my drunk ass attempting to do the stanky leg. Was that a failure, turns out I was just stomping down my foot on some kappa girls feet. Her friend I guess kept asking me to say sorry to her friend and you know what I said, “fuck you, you kappa bitch” something along those words from what people have told me.

Laura, madi, and I were pretty much fucked at 11:30pm, the three of us were about to get sick. I thought that it would have been polite of me to take off his high tops before throwing up and placed them in the corner of the bathroom very nicely. Madi, tyler, and I ended up passing out a little before midnight. I woke up with no shirt on, put my clothes back on, and then proceeded to go to the bathroom only to find the high tops staring back at me as I went potty (of course i couldn’t help but laugh at what i had done the night before). As I stepped out to the living room everyone clapped and cheered for me. To this day I am not able to take shots of Smirnoff after this glorious night.

Good Clean Fun @ The Lake House

HOLLA!

alright world, im going to take you to where i got my party rep started… HIGH SCHOOL! woo hoo high school, the good ole days. i went to a small catholic high school, there wasn’t much of a budget to spend on prom so we had our proms on a thursday night. the great thing about that is that seniors and juniors did not have to have class on thursday till monday, we had 4 days to PARTAY!

three of our friends have lake houses on the same lake including my best friend libby, our friend mary lived next door and our other friend nicole lived across the lake. all of our groups decided that our after prom plans were to drive down to the lake house for a weekend we would never remember, in total we there were going to be about 40 of us. i bought all of our alcohol which consisted of 3-30 case of beer 1-24 case of corona 1-30 case of mikes, 3 handles, and some special herb; we were all in for the shit show of our lives!

prom was fun and whatever but i was ready for the after hours! we got to the lake house friday morning, we all right away got in our swim suits, hopped in the hot tub and drank some brewskis; this weekend was for sure a foreshadow of what college  had in store for me. we were never all fully dressed, i believe i was in my swim suit the whole weekend that or butt naked. boy was there a lot of nakedness on this trip; 2 of our guy friends went skinny dipping, all the girls were topless in the hot tub,  i went streaking and chased people around the house nude, and then there was finally SEX!  there were were 2 couples in our group that were like rabbits just having sex everywhere and all day. we probably walked in on them about 7 times, i know i did but it was all good because i was black out.

for those of us that were single we decided to do TEQUILA BODY SHOTS! was that an experience let me tell ya, especially when there as a longer mouth action than there needed to be. now i dont want you guys to think that were all sluts, were just friendly people…we did have clean fun that didnt involve sex, boobs, or booze. we decided to take the speed boat out and go tubing; the water was a tad cold i would know because i got thrown in, so we threw wet suits on over our suits. ok maybe there was a little nudity but that wasnt our fault, danielle didnt plan on going tubing, she just wore normal close for once (she was one of the rabbits on the trip) anyways after kate and i went tubing we stripped down and gave her and nin our wet suits. the good clean fun didnt last long at all as soon as we got back to the house geena, libby, and i hopped in the hot tub, things got a little heated in there as you can tell about the center picture on top. its all good were best friends were allowed to do that. husband dan i would like to thank you for taking pictures. our weekend ends with our friend bubba walking in on nin as she is rubbing aloe on vagina. o and of course me mooning cars on our way home.

No Purse, No Keys, No Cash. Just a Phone-Round 2

What’s good World,

i clearly did not learn my lesson from going out on the friday night of the weekend of halloween. i was clearly embarrassed about being at the raunchy bikini bar the night before and was in desperate need of search for where my dignity had gone because at 10 am saturday morning i certainly did not have it.

i dont really recall what i did durning the day but all the matters was that i had a little bit of dignity and that was fine with me i was ready to lose it again tonight because i was going all out and showing off the girls. saturday i was eve (like  from the bible adam and eve). i covered a bra and short skirt in leaves, spray some gold glitter on it, and glues some flowers on there. like i said on halloween your allowed to dress as slutty as you please without being called a slut.

for this night laura, madi, and i had gotten a bottle of bacardi peach red which is DELISH! we managed to polish off our pre-gaming bottle in about an hour; we mean business when it come to our drinking. we left the apartment we got ready at and started walking towards our next party which was at our friends house that seemed like a mile away! i was in 5inch heels may i add and just wearing a bra and skirt in about 50degree weather.

we get to the party a million years later and with in about less than an hour we had to peace out because mi lady laura was feeling a tad ill, some friends saw us walking and offered to give a lift thank goodness! my feet were killing me. we arrive at her apartment and as soon as we get there laura runs off to the shady side of the building, i go running after her and notice her hunched over about to hurl, im holding her shoes in one hand because somehow she managed to take them off before throwing up and in the other hand im holding her hair back. once done we go into her building she tells madi and i that the elevator was broken and needed to take the stairs (she lives on the 7th floor!) i dont know why we listened to her and just automatically took the stairs but we did. madi is not the most athletic girl so she is struggling and im struggling carrying laura put 7 flights of stairs. boy was i out of shape, as soon as we get in her apartment laura runs to the freezer and pulls out texas toast demanding we make her some. i preheat the oven then go back to check on her and of course she is passed out within the 5 minutes that she tells us to make her food. o laura.

madi and i are starving! we drunk and need drunk food, laura’s is not the place for junk food. she is the healthiest person i know, i dont think i have ever seen a bag of potato chips there. on our way to laura’s apartment we ran into my friend paige, it was her birfday weekend and told her i would call her if we went to this one bar where we dont get i.d. or have to pay for drank. my saying is if you have a vagina its accepted where ever visa, master card, and discover is accepted.

so we called that guy that works that bar and told him to get us in! may i add this guy is REALLY shady and creepy. madi had a wristlet, i put some cash, stick of chap, keys, and my i.d. in it. the guy that worked the bar was able to get us 21 wristbands and some free dranks! we kept telling everyone that it was my paige’s 21st and everyone kept bringing on the free dranks. by 1 am, couple of free dranks and about 6 patron shots later i was at the bar all alone as always what else is new! i tried calling paige but nothing, i called madi and she told me she was at an apartment building next to the bar. i leave in search of madi and do i find her..NO, i find 40 year old that cant keep their eyes off my goods. i kept calling and texting madi but no answer, i was running around campus town half naked with nothing but my phone. as i was about to cry i called my neighbor jojo to see if he was around and could help me, thank goodness he was! he picked me up at jimmy johns and was shoved in the trunk because the car was completely pack, thus completely my fabulous slutty halloween weekend!

To the Man of Steel. R.I.P.

Hi World,

Normally my blogs are dedicated to my weekends. This is one will not consist of that; I will pay my respect to a beloved high school friend who passed away on Feb. 4, 2010.

Pierre Washington-Steel was not your average, he was an extraordinary person. Personally I think he has the coolest and most badass name in the world. I was in my junior year of high school as Pierre was entering as a freshman, he came to our high school to play football; that was what we were know for we had won 7 straight state championships, and he wanted to get noticed for that and continue to play football at a higher level.

When I first met Pierre I thought he was one of the most jacked up freshman I had very seen, normally freshman look like babies when they start high school; I sure as hell did. We all thought he came to just play football, did we all soon discover that he was an all around athlete. He was the only freshman that played varsity football, baseball, and track. The coaches even worked their spring sport schedules around him so he could play baseball and run track at the same time; he was for sure our schools golden child. Pierre was thee fastest kid I had ever seen out on any field, it was as if he had rockets on his shoes. Jon said this about you before your passing, “Pierre you my boy.. I remember like it was yesterday when I handed you the baton and I watched you fly. You carried us right to state you showed that impossible is nothing and thats why your gonna make it through this. Ur a strong kid and i love you man.”   He may have had a tough look from the outside, but he had such a kind and warm soul; he had one of those big contagious smiles that made the whole room brighten up.

In his last month on earth, he said some words on his facebook as if knowing that his time was running out or something.

Pierre Washington-Steel was only days away from signing with his dream school to play Division I football. but on the night of friday, January 29, 2010 at approx 8:30pm, Pierre and a friend were involved on a head on collision with a light poll. Broke his neck on impact, had to be put on life support, induced coma, and had to have his head cut open to relieve pressure from his brain.

on feb.4 he showed signs of improvement, proving the doctors wrong. he was able to move his finger and toes and flash that smile one more time before he passed away later that afternoon. we all knew he was meant for better things and those things aren’t in this world for him.

Pierre you are missed by your whole Driscoll family, you had an impact on us all. it was a pleasure and honor to run track with you. wont forget all the times we would make fun of ryan and his fatness. the good really do die young.

“everybody wants to be succesful and have the fame and the fortune and the glorybut only a selected few actually put in that work and go through the TOIL and TEARS to make that thought come to life.” -The man of Steel;Pierre Washington Steel. R.I.P June 16, 1992-Febuary 4, 2010

Show Me Your Boobies! Round 1

Bonjour World,

halloween is the one day of the year where a girl can dress as slutty as she wants and not be called a slut. this year i decided that i wanted to be a girls gone wild girl. all i needed to wear was a signed the said “CENSORED” on it, cheap, simple, and creative.

my wonderful neighbors that live below me were my camera and sound crew, and i had my joe francis. we started making strip and go naked’ which i thought was appropriate for the occasion. i don’t remember very well how i got to campus town but somehow it happened, what i do remember is asking both men and women to SHOW ME YOUR BOOBIES! i don’t think i was offending anyone, everyone was loving it and eating it up telling me how my costume was so creative. really bitch? i just stayed up past 3 am one weekday and a girls gone wild commercial came on, its really not that hard… i was with the guys with night and by myself  as you will later find out. we went to a popular dance bar that was having a costume contest, of course i entered i mean who do you think i am. by the time the contest came around i was PLASTERED guys kept buying me shots in exchange for a dance or whatever, after i took the shots i would run away to the bathroom or tell them i dont know how to dance (b.s. im a mother fucking dancing queen).

as i waited for the contest to start i was making my rounds around the bar, people kept asking to take pictures with them; meaning two things, one: they liked my costume idea. two: they wanted to take a picture with “that” wasted girl at the bar. i didn’t give a damn i was feeling goooood. by the time the contest came i was at the peak of my drunk a.k.a meaning i had been whoring it up. it was appropriate for my costume and i was getting into character. evidently i didn’t whore it up enough i got 2nd place.

after the bar closed, which i don’t remember at all; i guess i went around the block to some raunchy bikini bar where the girls are NASTY and was asking all the girls to show me their boobs. thank goodness my friend matt saw me go in there and dragged me out.  i am glad i do not recall this.

Tequila, N*Sync, and the Cops

O Hey World!

alright, so normally i would just blog about my upcoming weekends,but i feel like i need you give you a little more insight on my shenanigans because my last blog really was not crazy at all. so to start off second semester my roommate and i decided to come back to school are little early only to find our apartment unfurnished because our roommate that brought all the furniture decided to transfer and not tell us! of course we are pissed off and decided to drink a little tequila, always makes me feel gooood and well i was pain medication as well.

at this point it is my roommate sam, our friend mandy, and i; we are all dressed in sweats and t-shits, basically we look like were ready for bed. we take about 5 tequila shots, taking some poppers or Rush (a legal huffer that you purchase at the porn store to intensify orgasms, it is in a shady little brown bottle which makes it look like a bad drug)  plug the ipod into the ihome and start dancing away to all the old school N*Sync hits. our parking lot was empty so we figured that no one was back yet and put the ihome to the highest volume that it had, let me tell you it was not that loud at all, you could still hear my horrible singing voice. at about 11:30pm we hear a knock at the door; two things run through my head, one: its my neighbor below us because were always stomping around and sometimes comes up to see what were doing. cool dude, really cool dude. the other thing that went through my head was O FUCK COPS. i processed this all in a matter of 10 seconds. i automatically grab the tequila bottle and shove it in my food pantry, then i go to the door right away (you know so the cops dont think were hiding anything) i totally black about the shot glasses and the limes that are on the counter. in the matter of time that it took me to walk from my  pantry to the door the shot glasses and limes were gone, thee only thing left on the counter was the shady bottle of poppers. i was praying that it was my neighbor but nope, it was 3 cops.

way to start off the semester i was thinking with a minor. cops tell us one of our asshole neighbors called us in for being too loud. i thought it was a bunch of fucking bull shit! they are always blasting their house music till 3am and we never call their asses in. cops ask to see my i.d. and are asking my roommate questions when im trying to find it. they are asking why were being soo loud, how many people are here, when we moved in? in the end we sweet talked our way out of trouble by telling them that we were celebrating my breast tumor removal and showed them the sign i left for my roommates saying “this bitch will be back” and surrounded by prerogative pictures of myself. not sure that was the best thing to do but i mean we got out of trouble. these cops were probably thinking they are about to bust some big ass party, o no no no not in 534 buds, you just busted 3 sweaty girls in sweat pants.

Best Minute of My Life-Laura

Hola Mundo,

in my last blog i spoke about a shady brown bottle that my friends and i like to call poppers or rush. now i don’t want you guys to think that were doing drugs because we are not! rush is completely legal, it is meant to be sniffed right before “making love” or sex to intensify an orgasm. it just give you this amazing head rush especially when you are drunk it is thee BEST and makes your body just go numb and loose. you can even google it for yourself if  you don’t think its true. i LOVE them.

the first night that i ever tried them was actually kinda shady, it was the night of mi lady’s laura’s surprise birfday party. we were all taking shots at our friends house. all the guys show up at once and they have poppers in had and telling us how they have been doing them all night long and we needed to try them. us girls look at them like they are crazy since they all looked pretty tanked, anyway we agree to try them and see what the rage was all about.

a group of about 10 of us go into one of the family rooms, shut and lock all the doors so no one else can enter or see what we are doing (shady i know). jojo showed us how it was done, next was mi lady turn did it then passed it to me and of course on my first time the liquid goes up my nose, i start to freak out. i look at laura and jojo, they are just laughing their heads off. i felt like i did something wrong because i wasn’t laughing like them, 5 seconds later i felt like gravity just pushing me down, i couldn’t stop laughing my head off. it was love at first sight from then on. we continued to pass the little brown bottle for about 20 minutes. we were all in a dark room with all the entrances locked and not allowing anyone in or out.

to this day you might find me in the corner sniffing poppers all by myself at parties, but don’t mind me im just enjoying the company of my rush.